Five Things Not to Get us For Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and while there are lots of posts and sites dedicated to helping you find the most fabulously perfect gift for mom; I’m here to tell you what NOT to get us. You see, on this day, there ARE incorrect gifts, and it’s not just about the thought and effort that was put into it!  I sound like an ungrateful female dog, you might be thinking.  Um, hell’s yeah, I do, this is our day, and if you want to make it the special day that Hallmark has decided it is, you will follow this “what not to get guide.”

 

1)      Plants, flowers, or anything that is alive: I have absolutely no idea how and why plants became a traditional Mother’s Day gift, but the person who started this tradition was obviously never responsible for the life of another human being.  I mean, what exactly is the thought process behind this?  Now that we have become mothers we will suddenly take up gardening?  My thumb was black before the kiddies were born and it remains a serious shade of ebony today.  Listen closely, mothers Do. Not. Need. anything else to keep alive.  We already have the responsibility of keeping our little humans flourishing and thriving, that’s enough!  It’s just cruel to expect us to rear anything else.

2)      Brunch!  Have you been to a restaurant with your kids before?  Would you like to inflict that on your wife on her special day?  Thought so…

3)      Breakfast in bed:  Every morning I wake up to one of the kids in my face, poking me and prodding me with a moist (yes, I just used the word moist) little finger.  As sweet as it sounds to make mommy breakfast in bed, we just want to be left alone to sleep as late as we possibly can… like, 8AM would be GREAT!  Now, lunch waiting at the kitchen table that can be enjoyed peacefully while you are out with the kids?  That I can get on board with.

4)      Hand crafted projects:  Ok, now there might be some other moms out there that are all, “Noooooo, I love my kid’s little crafts!!’’ These women clearly have children under the age of two.  It’s pretty much a guarantee that they are already studiously crafting something at their desks for you at school, so that gift has already been covered… in glitter that will make the house a mess!  But honestly, so many craft projects are brought home every week, I just don’t have the organizational skills to keep them all in perfect condition… forever!  Ultimately, the kids just end up getting upset when they notice that mommy has tossed their precious creations in the garbage, thus, effectively ruining the holiday altogether. 

5)      A party… at our house:  While yes, it’s lovely to gather the generations of females in the family together to celebrate our societally dedicated auspicious day, if there is anything that this day excuses me from it’s the preparation that goes into having guests at the house.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to entertain, but it takes a lot, cleaning, shopping, preparing, cooking… A LOT!  So no, it would not be easier to just “have everyone over here!”

 

Now that you understand what not to get us, please, go forth and shop!  No, in all seriousness, this is a Hallmark holiday.  What makes me feel truly special is the love and support that my family shows me every day- that is the real gift. This love is felt in a million little ways all the time; from the dinner that you cooked because my day was just slightly longer than yours, to the kids begging for one more bedtime story just to be in my presence a little longer.  Mother’s Day is just another day that I get to feel this love.

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