Man AND Lady Vs Mommy. Written in Memory of Those Murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary

Lady seems to be turning out to be EXACTLY like her big brother.

Honestly, I’m a little pissed at her. I feel like she duped me, like I was lulled into a false sense of security by a lovable, angelic baby. Lady—my sweet girl—is beginning to feel the strong pull of the dark side.

Up until recently, she was happy to just sit and look around the room and enjoy whatever toy we placed in front of her. I felt relieved. With Man, all of our safety gates were firmly in place by six and a half months; here we were going on eight months and she had shown no interest in anything that wasn’t within her immediate reach. She was able to crawl; she just didn’t. Then—suddenly—a switch was flipped and she was on the move. And not just crawling around, but crawling towards things, specific things… dangerous things!!

It seems like every time I turn around now there is a baby getting into something… and also a toddler. It’s like déjà vu. Man has yet to grow out of the “exploration phase” and now Lady seems to be diving into it head first. I live in Wild Kingdom. A normal, everyday scenario in my house now goes something like this:

Me: “Lady, stop pulling on the wires!”

Man: “What wires?” – PAUSE – “I want to see the wires!”

Me: “Man, no touching wires. We have discussed over and over how wires are…?”

Man: “Dangerous.”

Pause, with sulking.

I can see his little brain working, not wanting to just let this go and play with something else…something safe, perhaps.

Man now shouting: “I NEED TO TOUCH THE WIRES ALSO TOO!!!!”

Lady uses this diversion to stealthily sneak back behind me to begin pulling the wires again.

If there were a possibility of cloning myself, now would be a good time. [Editor’s Note: Please no. One is enough.]

Man has always been fascinated with his sister, and she with him, but now that she is fully mobile he has taken his interest to an all-new level. He has found his partner in crime, his own little sidekick whom he can mold. I find him bringing her toys and telling her what to do with them. Of course, she doesn’t understand his requests and ends up just banging them together. I fear what happens when she actually starts understanding his commands. He is the Emperor Palpatine to her Darth Vader.

My finely-honed sense of hearing is even more indispensible than it was before; it is one of my only remaining superpowers. When I duck out of the room to go to the bathroom or make one of them a meal I am protected only by what I can – or can NOT – hear them doing. Ironically, a “boom crash” is usually a better sign then silence. They call me Batmom: I’ve evolved to use my ears independently of each other to track both Man and Lady’s whereabouts and movements simultaneously.

*I started this blog a few days ago but I wasn’t feeling inspired anymore so I put it down. Then Friday happened, and 20 children and 7 adults were senselessly murdered. I have not been able to stop tearing up every time I see their faces on the news. I turned off the television this morning and picked up the blog in the hopes that it would distract me a bit, and then I reread it. And I reread it again. All I can think is, thank God!! Thank God they are still here and can do the things that make me so crazy, happy, anxious, overjoyed, furious, disgusted, thrilled, excited, relieved, and every other possible emotion. My babies are safe, while so many are not.

I am an average mom. I worry about naps and eating, cuts and bruises, runny noses and developmental milestones. But now I suddenly have to worry about safety in a way that is completely new to me. I have to worry that when we go to school, or the store, or a movie that there might be an unstable person out there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely rational in that I know the likelihood of such things actually happening to me is tiny, but, I assume, so did all of the parents that sent their kids to school that morning.

I am an average mom. My kids overwhelm me sometimes; but at the end of the day, I still get to hug them and drink in their scent and kiss them goodnight with the comfort of knowing that I will be able to do it all again tomorrow. If nothing else comes from this tragedy, I will use it as call for change in myself, to remind myself constantly to stay calm. My babies are still here.


One thought on “Man AND Lady Vs Mommy. Written in Memory of Those Murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary

  1. Pingback: Will Someone Tell Me How I Can Do More? | Man vs Mommy

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