Pregnancy, I’m Over It!!

Pregnancy, I’m over you.

It’s no secret that pregnancy is challenging, but I had no idea just how truly difficult it could be.  I had it pretty easy with Man.  Even with Gestational Diabetes- which, yes, was difficult- I never got really big or uncomfortable; I was able to sleep, and after week 12 I had plenty of energy.  I even felt kind of sexy with my little belly and big boobs.  This time, it’s different!!!

Pregnancy sucks, and this is why:

I worked really hard to get my body back after the first pregnancy.  I dieted and worked out almost daily and after about 5 months I looked even better than I did before pregnancy.  All of the work I had done is now obsolete.  I am already at the weight I was at when I gave birth to number one and I still have 11 weeks to go.  I don’t enjoy looking like an Orca and I dread the upcoming dieting process.

My boobs are ginormous and embarrassing; I’m almost a double D.  I know when men look at me on the street it’s not because I’m hot; it’s because I have stripper boobies.  Small breasted women are reading this thinking, “I wish I had bigger boobs!”  Well, I have been both a smaller and larger breasted woman and being small has, shall we say, its perks.  They wake me up at night; I roll over, gravity takes control and they crash together like the Titanic hitting that ice berg.  I am jolted from an already restless sleep by reckless, out of control boobies.

Does anyone else have terrible nightmares when they are pregnant?  Aside from the general murder, kidnap, Freddie Krueger-type nightmares, there are also baby nightmares.  The other night I dreamt that Kim Kardashian threw a party at my house… and woke both of the babies.  Now partying with Kim K might sound fun to some of you, but that in and of itself would be a nightmare for me.  And the fact that she had woken both of my babies and deprived me of the few precious hours of sleep that I was allotted made it the scariest fucking dream that I had had in a long time.

I want to drink!  I want to drink wine!!!!  I want to drink a lot of wine!!!!!!  After a long day with Man sometimes all I want is like 5 glasses of wine and I can’t have them.  This pisses me off.  Yes, I should be able to find other, healthier means of relieving stress.  But as most moms know, sometimes you just need to hit the bottle.

I’m tired.  I mean I’m really really tired, everyday, all of the time.  I had plenty of energy when pregnant with number one, and now any extra energy I may have is taken by one.  When One naps, I nap.  This in turn means that I have no time for myself or chores around the house, resulting in a dirty mommy and an even dirtier household.  And with only one allotted cup of coffee per day I start running on empty at about 8:37AM.  Plus, I can’t help but anticipate being even more tired once Two is actually born.  It scares me.

I need adult diapers.  Aside from the nightmares and the boobies, pee pee keeps me up at night.  The boobs collide and I am awakened, but there is no way that I can fall back asleep without going to the bathroom.   I have the bladder of a 96 year old mother of six.

I miss my husband.  It’s not that he is not here; it’s that I’m not here.  When he gets home it’s all I can do to eat something for dinner and get right into bed.  I miss our time together over dinner and couch time catching up on each other’s days.  I miss cooking and taking care of us and I feel terribly guilty being what I consider to be less of a wife than I usually am.

I understand that most of the issues on this list will only get worse once Two is born, but then slowly but surely they will get better.  Honestly, I have no idea how that Duggar lady does this every year, she is like a Pez dispenser for babies.  She must need a bladder transplant at this point…

Glowing at 40 Weeks Pregnant with One

Kind of Gross at 25 Weeks Pregnant with Two

3 thoughts on “Pregnancy, I’m Over It!!

  1. I feel your pain, I really do. At 26 weeks, I just discovered that I can’t see my feet anymore. My bras don’t fit and the underwires are now cutting off circulation. I was already a D pre-pregnancy, now the girls need their own zip code! This is also my second pregnancy and while the second trimester was great, I’m suddenly more nervous for the home stretch than I thought I’d be. And I’m working full-time and pregnancy brain has made me constantly paranoid that I’m forgetting things that I ordinarily wouldn’t – it happens more frequently than I’d like.

    I purposely didn’t try to get back to pre-baby shape in the years after my son was born because I knew we wanted another baby and I knew it would undo all of my hard work. So I’m half looking forward to getting back into shape and half dreading it, but at least I know that when I do, I’ll be making changes for life instead of knowing that I’ll be packing it on again and have it start all over.

    Hang in there! (And you look gorgeous with that mane of hair and beautiful belly, SO not gross)

  2. I’m totally with you on this one… I don’t feel that pregger sexiness… that I thought i would feel again. But this time is different. I’ve been having really strange dreams…. mostly scary… but last night was such a romantic dream about my husband… when i woke up I felt so terrible about my husband being neglected. I can’t wait to have this baby and we can all go on a family trip and enjoy the fruit of our labor!!! 🙂

  3. Also in my second pregnancy, and I gotta say…

    Man, I WOULD KILL for DDs!

    Not because I’m small chested, mind you. No, because right now I’m hovering just shy of a J cup.

    Yeah, a fucking J CUP.

    And they hurt like hell.

    Between that and the baby bump, I look HUGE. Not huge pregnant, just huge FAT. Because with a shirt on, nobody can tell where the mammoth boobs of doom end and the belly begins. And that freakin’ sucks.

    I’m halfway through, and I’ve gained five pounds. But it’s all on my freakin’ chest.

    I actually wrote about some of my boob problems, if you want a nice laugh that might make you feel a little better:

    Cheers! And good luck!

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