Baby Talk

Kids really do say the darndest things—especially when they are first beginning to develop language.  Man has blossomed lately and his vocabulary is expanding, but as a toddler he, of course, makes lots of great mistakes!  Here are some that are just too funny to ignore:

I wear glasses.  Man also has a pair of sunglasses that he loves to play with.  The other day he pointed to my face and started saying “ass, ass, ass, ass” over and over.  It was not until he climbed into my lap, pulled the glasses off my face and squealed “ASSSSSS” at a frequency only attained by dolphins that I realized he was not calling me an “ass” but was just saying “glasses”.  Though deaf, I felt better; no one wants to be called an ass to her face by her 14 month old (even if it is true).

All mealtimes are now “lunch”.  Yesterday I told Man to go get in his highchair and get ready for dinner.  He responded with an emphatic “LUNCH!”  “Man, this meal is called dinner,” I replied.  “LUNCH”, he insisted.  “No honey, dinner.” I pressed on.   After a few more of these exchanges, when I realized I was standing in the kitchen pointlessly arguing with a toddler, I finally relented. “Ok you can call it whatever you want, as long as you eat it!”

It used to eat me up inside that Man would only say “Dada” and “Dix” (our dog), but now “Mama” is one of his favorite and most frequently used words.  A few weeks ago it was my morning to sleep in and through the haze of slumber all I heard was “Mom? Mom? Mom Mom? Mom?”

The first time this happened I was filled with joy; Man was looking for his “Mom” and finally calling out for me and not his dad.  The next weekend it was still cute, but I was getting annoyed–didn’t he know I could hear him and that he was waking me from my one precious extra hour of sleep?  Now it just downright pisses me off.  You have a dad; he is taking great care of you—call out his name all morning!!!

The telephone is called “Dada”.  Early on he learned that most of the time when the phone rings it’s his dad.  Now he often points to the phone when he wants to play with it and says “Dada, Dada.”  We were at a friend’s house the other day having lunch (Man screwed to the table in a travel high chair, of course) when he started calling out “Dada, Dada” and pointing to the center of the table.  “Dada is sitting right next to you, Man.”  But he kept at it, pointing to the table and screaming “Dada”.  When I took a closer look I realized their house phone was sitting on the table. “Ohhhh, yes Man, Dada.”

He also likes to play with the phone.  At times he dials random numbers and the prerecorded message “We’re sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed”, comes on.  Man looks at the phone startled, puts it up to his ear and starts saying “Hi, Hi, Hi”.  He is desperate for her to answer back!

Everything with 4 legs is “Dix Dix!”  We go to the zoo and the Alpaca is “Dix Dix.”  We walk in the park and all other dogs are “Dix Dix.”  We went to a huge park the other day and Man saw two dogs playing about 100 yards away.  He determinedly made his way across the field chanting “Dix, Dix, Dix, Dix” the entire time.  If there was a sports team named Dix, he would be their mascot!

Similarly dogs say “woof” or “arf arf” (he uses them interchangeably). However, all other animals say “grrrrr” (said with a low guttural sound).  “What does the dog say, Man?” “Woof”.  “What does the sheep say?” “Grrrrr!”  “What does the bird say?” “Grrrrr”.  “What does the shark say?” “Grrrrrr”.

The “this” stage:  For a long time “this” was Man’s favorite word.  He would point to everything and say “this?”  In and of itself it’s just not that funny, but since he decided to say it with a German accent it was quite hilarious.  All day long it was “zees, zees, zees?”  He also said “bye bye” with a Southern accent, making it sound more like “baah baah”.  I continuously try to explain to him that he is a New Yorker and that we have our own special accent that is neither German nor Southern.

What are some of the vocabulary mistakes that your little ones make/made??

One thought on “Baby Talk

  1. I just love when children are beginning to talk! Language is the most humbling experience to watch happen – and the laughs are wonderful! Of course he would get the “Ass” part of sunglasses – right! My youngest told me Daredevil uses his “Simisins” to find his enemies. After many questions, he meant “Senses.” Pricelesss.

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