This Is Your Brain. This Is Your Brain On Baby. Any Questions? Because I Can’t Answer Them!

My husband recently told me that talking to me was like having a conversation with a dial-up modem from 1994; I just take forever to load.  And he’s right—I have NO brain right now.  I have bad case of Double Baby Brain, which is Pregnancy Brain mixed with plain old Tired Mommy Brain.  I take about two minutes to get a simple sentence out, and even once it’s on my lips it’s missing some key elements, like nouns and verbs.  It’s terrible!!  I know what I want to say—the words are all there in my brain—but I have lost the ability to place them in a sensible order or express them in an intelligent manner.

Nowadays a typical conversation sounds something like this:

Cooking

Me: “Honey will you get me the …PAUSE… you know, the thing… LARGER PAUSE… it opens things, like jars and shit.  Over there in the …PAUSE… next to ummmm, the place where water comes out.” (Pointing wildly at the drawer and using hand motions to mimic the tool I am looking for.)

Husband: “The can opener, in the drawer next to the sink?”

Me: “YES, honey, you are so smart!”

 

 

Television

Husband: “What are you watching?”

Me: “You know; that show …PAUSE… where the girls wear clothes that are way too small and act older than they really are…?”

Husband: “Are there vampires on it??  I know how you like shows with vampires.”

Me: “No, No, they go to ummmmmm high school …PAUSE… or maybe college, I can never tell.”

Husband: “That describes half the shows on Television.”

Me: “YES, honey, you are so smart!”

 

 

Daily Life

Husband: “Do you and Man have any fun plans today?”

Me: “Oh yes …PAUSE…

Husband: “OK??”

Me: “You know, we are going ummmmm, it’s Tuesday and so we go to ummmmm.”

Husband: “It’s Wednesday, babe.”

Me: “YES, honey, you are so smart!”

 

 

Just Being Helpful

Husband: “Can I bring you anything from upstairs?”

Me: “Yes …SUPER LONG PAUSE…

Husband:??

Me: PAUSE

Husband: ??

Me: “Something sweet.”

Husband: “OK?”

Me: “What do we have?”

Husband: “I don’t know.  You do the shopping.”

Me: “Oh, right!” PAUSE “Hmmmmmm?”

Husband: “Okay, well I’m going upstairs now.”

Me: “No No, wait!  I want something sweet!”

Husband: “Yes, you have already indicated as much.”

Me: “Oh, right. YES, honey, you are so smart!”

 

 

Miscellaneous

Husband: “Do you need me to stop and pick up anything on the way home from work?”

Me: “How about something for dinner?”

Husband: “You’re the pregnant one; are you craving anything in particular?”

Me: “I don’t know …PAUSE… maybe chicken, pasta, something from the sea?  You pick!”

Husband: Sighing with exasperation “But if you’re not specific I’m bound to pick the wrong thing!”

Me: “YES, honey, you are so smart!”

 

 

Husband: “Did you drop off the dry cleaning today?”

Me: “I think so?”

Husband: “You don’t remember?”

Me: “I don’t even remember what I had for that meal in the middle of the day.”

Husband: “You mean lunch?”

Me: “YES, honey, you are so smart!”

 

There are many more examples of my Double Baby Brain than I could possibly name. I could go on all day, except that I have to go and…umm…PAUSE…errr…

2 thoughts on “This Is Your Brain. This Is Your Brain On Baby. Any Questions? Because I Can’t Answer Them!

  1. Ha ha ha — been there, done that. Sadly…my brain never did recover…or at least it hasn’t yet! A girl can always hope, right?

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