Mean Mommy!

Yes Man, I’m a mean mommy!  Despite your protests I will continue to be a mean mommy.

 

I’m mean because I insist that you ride in your car seat instead of being allowed to crawl around the car when we drive!

I’m mean because I want you to wear clean diapers and not walk around naked peeing in corners!

I’m mean because I try and feed you vegetables and meat and not just fruit and cheese!

I’m mean because I force you to wear socks and shoes and I don’t let you walk in the street without them!

I’m mean because I won’t let you stick your fingers in the sockets!

I’m mean because I won’t let you eat dog food, paper, and other bits of crap off the floor!

I’m mean because I insist that you take two naps a day!

I’m mean because I don’t let you pet the dog while she is eating!

I’m mean because I am leaving you with Bubbie while Dad and I go off on vacation without you!

I’m mean because I don’t let you stand on the coffee table!

I’m mean because I don’t let you rifle through the garbage can and eat it’s contents!

I’m mean because I don’t let you lick the bathmats!

I’m mean because I don’t let you stick your hands in the toilet!

 

In the future I will continue to be mean.

 

I will be mean because I will insist that you eat at the table with your family at least a few nights a week!

I will be mean because I will insist that you finish your homework before disappearing with your friends for the afternoon!

I will be mean because I will insist that you not date the slutty girls, despite the pleasure they can provide. (Dad will strongly object to this.)

I will be mean because Dad and I will continue to go on vacations without you!  (Don’t worry we will take you sometimes.)

I will be mean because I will insist that you say “please” and “thank you”!

I will be mean because I will continuously say things like “I know what’s best for you” and “Because I said so”… and you will have to live with that!

 

Do you have anything to add, Man??  Good, then it’s settled, I’m a mean mommy!

Are you a mean mommy too??  Why?

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Mean Mommy!

  1. Yes, I am a mean mommy, I have a 2yo toddler now, and I can totally tell its going to get worse from here. My latest and greatest mean moment, letting him know that I was going to watch glee instead of spongebob. Yep, I got the tantrum of a lifetime for that one! Sorry kid, mommy pays the cable bill, so mommy watches glee. 🙂

    • Man is not so into TV yet so I often force him to watch the old and new 90210, I’m positive that one day that will be unacceptable! I like your blog! I started a new online newspaper for blogging moms/dads called Mommy’s Post (www.mommyspost.com). I would love for you to submit some of your favorite posts to mommyspost@gmail.com 🙂

  2. Oh, yeah, get your mean on!! Mine had a tantrum last night because I would not let him eat FOUR donuts. Yes, 4. You would think he’d be happy with 2 (they were the mini ones.) But he wasn’t and I didn’t give in and tantrum lasted over an hour. He was always the most stubborn baby! But I won…exhausted but I won..this time.

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