I recently posted a picture on FB of an Apple Crisp that I had baked and a few friends commented that I was “Super Mom”. Well I’m here to tell you that I am NO Super Mom… and here are a multitude of reasons why:
1) There are days where Man and I NEVER leave the house: There are no play dates scheduled and no classes to attend. There are, however, plenty of chores that I’m ignoring; but the thought of schlepping Man all over creation just seems so annoying. By the end of the day Man is frustrated and Mommy is frustrated. However, there we remain, on the floor, playing with the same toys for the umpteenth time.
2) I try very hard not to change diapers: Man is IMPOSSIBLE to change! I often find myself breaking into a cold sweat the minute I smell the whiff of something amiss. He will not stay still… EVER! I get the diaper off, wipe once and he inevitably sits down leaving a small blob of poo on floor or carpet where I am changing him. Before I even have a chance to begin again he is walking away and I’m watching his little tushy get smaller and smaller as he rounds the corner and moves on to the next room. I run after him and the cycle continues until I yell. Yes, I yell, not necessarily AT him, just more a general “AHHHHHHH”! He thinks this is funny and laughs… which pisses me off even more.
3) Sometimes Man eats the same thing for lunch and for dinner… while standing up in the kitchen: Lately, Man has had issues with his high chair. He is getting better about it and I can at least get ¾ of a meal into him before he wiggles his way out of the harness and starts climbing out. Therefore, if it has been a particularly trying day, I let him eat standing up in the kitchen. Well that’s not entirely true, we start standing up in the kitchen and I end up following him around the house shoveling food in this mouth while he plays. Most foods are hard to eat this way, thus, I allow him to eat the same thing for multiple meals in a row. I foresee a future of bad mealtime behavior and I will only have myself to blame.
4) In the morning if Man wakes before 7AM I leave him in his crib… and sometimes he cries: I’m pregnant, I’m tired, I don’t even want to get out of bed at 7AM, let alone 6AM. I roll over and ignore the crying that I can hear through the wall (as I no longer use a monitor) and attempt to continue to sleep. Most mornings he is patient and he busies himself playing or just “resting” but sometimes the crying escalates to a scream. Sorry Man, Mommy is tired, you will have to wait another 15 minutes to be let out of your cage. I dread the day when he learns to climb out of the crib and my days of ignoring come to an abrupt end.
5) I force my child to watch Beverly Hills 90210 and other bad daytime television: Man is not so into TV, I turn on Sesame Street or Classical Baby and he barely glances at the screen for more than a second or two. So I figure if he doesn’t want to watch TV, then at least I can. On those days where we don’t leave the house it gets pretty quiet so by mid afternoon I need a little TV to help me through the rest of the day. What else is on at 3PM besides Court TV and 90210? I don’t think Man should yet be exposed to our judicial system so I choose reruns of trashy 90’s soap operas. The sooner Dylan McKay and Brandon Walsh teach him appropriate high school and college behavior the better!!
So no, I am not a Supermom; I strive every day to pass as a just a good mom. But there are real Supermoms out there. They are the women who get up in the morning and prepare their child for the day, trek to work, put in an entire day at the office and then take care of their children all night. They are the women who lovingly care for a child with special needs. The moms who do crafts and make sure their child has a daily activity to do; all the while cleaning the house and making sure there is a hot dinner on the table that evening. This is not me; maybe one day it will be… but I doubt it.