“We didn’t have that when you were a baby and you turned out just fine!”
This is a sentiment consistently uttered from the lips of all of Man’s grandparents. I often think, yes, I’m fine, but could I have been better?? Could I have been a neurosurgeon or a rocket scientist if my mom had had access to some of these fancy new products???
There is an endless list of products and gadgets that did not exist when we were babies. Go back one more generation and the list of baby innovations multiplies yet again. Some of these inventions are fantastic, like the car seat and disposable diapers. However, there are so many others that cause me to wonder, “Is this necessary??”
Dapple and other organic soaps: I understand not wanting to wash your baby’s bottles and utensils with regular dish soap; somehow the thought of coating baby’s food receptacles with harmful chemicals sounds scary (and that is what advertisers bank on when they create ads for these products). But our parents did it, and so did their parents before them (I mean, our grandparents lived in a time when the percentage of Lye in soap, a poison, outweighed all of the other chemicals). Clean is clean, right?? Wrong!! Clean is apparently only clean if the invisible filmy residue left on the dishes is an organic one.
Aquaphor: Aquaphor is just very expensive, fancy Vaseline… enough said!!
Video Baby Monitors: I am among the many of us who is guilty of constantly staring at the baby through the video monitor. (Actually I just did, and silently cursed Man who is not yet asleep. Mommy needs to work Man; go to sleep… Damn, I just did it again!). What did moms do before video? Sometimes we stay over at the grandparents’ and there is only an audio monitor. It drives me insane. I can’t tell if the noise I hear is Man standing in his Pack-and-Play and absolutely refusing a nap or if he’s “fuzzing” his blanket talking himself to sleep. I know if I go in to check he will never nap. I am trying to break my monitor addiction—I don’t use at night anymore, but I still hear it calling to me.
Baby Einstein: I am all for kids’ television being more educational. But I seem to recall watching a ton of Thunder Cats, Rainbow Bright, My Little Pony, and good old Disney when I was a kid. Can’t television sometimes just be television? Even Sesame Street has changed since I was a kid. I hear that Cookie Monster is now Veggie Monster…this is necessary?? I believe in instilling good eating habits and educating our children, but did we have to kill off the Cookie Monster?
The Baby Bullet and other fancy food-making products: I was taken in too at first, but this one is just a plain old scam. Do you have a food processor? Then I’ll let you in on a secret…they do the same thing! Man ate purees for about two months. I steamed the fruits and veggies in a pot and sent them through the food processor—just as easy as using the bullet and it made twice as much to store and freeze. Did I really need this product?
And as a side note, do the fruits and veggies that I cook really need to be organic (like my dish soap)?? Pesticides shmesticides, I know I wouldn’t be too upset if Man grew lets say a third arm or something. The more hands for him to pick up all of those non organic pieces of dirt from the floor and eat them with!
Shit, I just looked at the video monitor again! ARG!