Top Ten Tthings I Never Thought I Would Do Before Becoming a Mother:
1) Yell at other drivers to slow down… I mean, when did I become 90?? Just the other day I yelled at the teenagers in my neighborhood to “slow down”!! They gave me the same look I would have given them when I was 16 and some “old lady” told me to stop doing what I was doing.
2) Exercise!! I hated it before, I hate it now, but it’s my only time away from Man (and the only way I can sort of keep the muffin top under control). I exercise all of the time now…
3) Letting Man eat off the floor. I never even considered allowing this until I realized that the food was more interesting to my very thin baby when it was on the floor. Yesterday he threw his entire grilled cheese sandwich to the floor and started screaming to be taken out of his high chair. Before I had a chance to go and clean up his mess I discovered him happily sitting under the chair eating his sandwich. “Is it more appealing covered in dog hair?” I asked. He’s ten and a half months old, and couldn’t really formulate a coherent answer.
4) Wear makeup to the gym. I’m old and haggard now; I have to “put my face on” before going anywhere. Of course this really just means mascara, under eye cover up, and blush, but it still feels weird (and a little sad) to put makeup on before going to the gym (or anyplace public for that matter).
5) Keep the television off during the day. I can’t stand the sound of silence, but I hate when Man just zones out and watches the “telly”, his mouth wide open and a little spittle of drool sliding down the side of his face. I immediately flash forward to his teen years and it being impossible to get him off the couch to do anything.
6) Turn into my own mother. This is a blog post in and of itself and I don’t have enough time to get into it now.
7) Let Man eat too many snack foods. He’s skinny, it scares me, if he’s eating it, I’m happy.
8) Try and find alternatives to the word “no”. Why would I do that?? “No” is simple, concise and basically says it all. But apparently you’re not supposed to use that word too much or instills a sense of negativity into your child… who knew?
9) Let my husband throw our baby around like he was a rag doll. Man is clearly an adrenaline junky. He LOVES to be bounced, thrown, tossed, swung… well, anything that involves him moving at high speeds and in a spinning or bouncing motion. When other people see him do this is scares the bejeezus out of them, they yell at him to stop immediately… until they see the perma smile it puts on Man’s face. I worry that in the future I will have to parlay this need into something productive like sports, NOT race car driving, base jumping, cliff diving, etc.
10) Put myself last. Every mom “understands” that when they have a baby that baby and everything having to do with that baby comes first. I just never understood the depth of that until he was here.
What are some things you thought you would never do???