We’re All Idiots

All right, moms. I know this isn’t going to make me the most popular Dad around, but somebody’s got to lay some knowledge on you. Stupidly, my wife left this job to me.

 Your husbands are all just like Rodney Daingerfield. We don’t get no respect. Stop getting angry….let me explain.

To the stay-at-home moms who may read this, my dear, beautiful wife included, we get it. We spend the weekends with our babies, and so we recognize that the job you have is exceptionally challenging. It’s physical work, chasing the kid around all day, and it’s mentally taxing, since you need to be alert all the time. Since your time is no longer your own, it’s difficult for you emotionally as well. Being alone with a little kid all day is tough…your husbands understand and appreciate this. But here’s the thing, see… 

We work really hard too. Unlike the reverse, you don’t typically get to see us doing our jobs during the day (unless your husband happens to be a television personality or a professional athlete). But actually, really, when we’re out of the house all day, we’re working too. Yes, we may (generally speaking) like our jobs, but work is still work. We may sit at a desk, but our minds are being exercised – and stressed – every hour of every workday…and many of the hours when we’re not working.

Plus, you need to consider the undeniable fact that we are all idiots. Come on…you knew this when you married us:

Yeah: we need 30 minutes in the bathroom on Sunday morning. We know that’s a luxury for you; tough! You knew it when you married us.

We watch sports and generally place way too much importance on our teams and the outcomes of their games. We all know deep down inside how stupid this is, but we also know it’s never changing.

We have hobbies that take up ungodly amounts of time: my thing’s golf but fishing, hunting, spelunking, whatever…you knew it when you married us. Hey wait—I know you’re starting to get angry again…

Remember: We’re idiots. You expected this dramatic change? We’re doing the best we can. We’ve made changes and concessions. To us they are huge. To you they are unnoticeable. Surprised?

When we’re out doing our thing, or out of touch daydreaming, we are not – I repeat we are NOT – saying that we’re uninterested in you. We are not saying that we don’t value the hard work you do all day. We are not saying we don’t respect your need for your own break. We’re just saying that we’re stressed out, we’re conditioned to need and expect some free time, and, always remember – we’re idiots. You knew this when you married us.

I know this probably leaves you feeling pissed off. I know there’s a good chance you may take it out on your own husband – fellas, I apologize (it’s nothing you haven’t heard before). In all probability you’re questioning why, after procreation is complete, you need a man in your life at all. Can’t answer that one. I’m just an idiot.

One thought on “We’re All Idiots

  1. Great blog post. It didn’t piss me off…it just highlights the unfortunate differences between men and women. And after 23 years of marriage I’m done complaining about it! But if I had to do it all over again I think I would have taken me a wife rather than a husband!

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