50 First Dates????

My heart is racing, my palms are sweaty, and I quickly do the cupped hand over the mouth breath test… I have the first date jitters.  But I’m married, so what’s the deal??  It’s a first play date; that all-important meeting of two (or more) moms who you may or may not want to be friends with after this blessed event. 

At the playground I often feel like a member of the Audubon Society watching the mating process of a rare songbird.  First, the courtship stage: the kids are on the swings next to each other, one of the kids inevitably does something cute and the mommies strike up a conversation.  Now the sparks are flying and there is some heavy flirting taking place, but now what?  Do you ask her for her number?  Is that too pushy?  Maybe she’s not looking to add to her friends list right now.  And of course, since both parties are female, neither really knows how to make the first move.  Luckily, someone whips out a phone and digits are swapped.  The species is saved.

The play date that follows is of the utmost importance.  Like a real first date, you consider attire. Nothing is worse then putting your child in an outfit that makes him actually look, well, childish; better to dress him like a little adult in order to reflect your own personal style!  I often try to get Man to wear his golf cap; he hates this.

Location is important as well. Man eats the wood chips at the park and I often have to think, “Am I really ready for this mom to see my kid eat mulch?”   And most importantly, you must follow the cardinal rules: Never discuss politics, religion, sex… OR parenting techniques until you really know who this person is.

On one such first date, I got out of the car to discover that Man had completely soiled his diaper, his clothes, his car seat and the rest of the zip code. I immediately needed an extra set of hands, a washing machine, and a tub.  Here’s a great first impression: I’m Laura, and I’m the one with the kid who is covered from head to toe in poop.  (In other news, a child I barely knew threw up on my lovely new couch only a few weeks later.) 

Man and I have had an opportunity to meet some lovely mommies and begin some growing relationships. But I don’t like the dating process now any more than I did when I was single.

Share your “first date” stories, whether a success or a huge disaster!

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